Why do you spend your time doing what you do? Why do you say yes to doing some things and no to doing other things? Are you saying yes and no to the right things?

Most of us would like to believe we say yes and no to our time commitments based on objective, logical assessments of what appears most important. But a lot of times that is not the case. Very often we make these decisions based on what we believe OTHER PEOPLE will think of us if we do or don’t do them.

How other people perceive us — or how we think they’ll perceive us — has an extraordinary influence on how we choose to use our time. Coming to terms with ways we seek people’s approval or fear their disapproval will force us to face humbling truths about ourselves and may require repentance and uncomfortable change.

Think about how brief our lives are, and how limited our energy and other resources are! The apostle Paul said:

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17.

Let’s examine our use of time and energy by inviting the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and see if we really are influenced to say yes or no out of a fear of others.

At a recent conference I attended, ministry leaders on a panel were asked how they remained focused on their calling while deluged with demands. One of the questions was: Who are you willing to disappoint?”

At first this might seem like a negative and perhaps unloving way to decide what we should or shouldn’t do. But it really isn’t. It’s actually a clarifying question. It IS NOT asking us who are the people we will choose not to love. It IS asking us what we are really pursuing in our time commitments. Whose approval are we seeking? God’s? Other people’s? Of those, whose?

We Serve Those We’re Unwilling to Disappoint

And that’s the question for us too: who are we willing to disappoint? Or, who are we unwilling to disappoint?

We all choose to serve those we’re unwilling to disappoint. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, though it certainly can be. God actually designed us to be motivated by what we love, and we will always fear to disappoint the one(s) we love.

Now, I know John said, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:8). But he was addressing a different kind of fear, the fear of “punishment” or condemnation. John meant that God’s children no longer need to live in terror of God’s wrath.

But perfect love does indeed produce a certain kind of fear:

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” (Deuteronomy 10:12).

This is the kind of fear that “serves the Lord with gladness” (Psalm 100:2). The fear that comes from the thought of disappointing the One we treasure most. We fear to lose the treasure.

“Life is too short, and God too precious, to give our years and our strength to the fear of man.”

Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and try our thoughts (Psalm 139:2). We should ask ourselves the hard question: who are we willing to disappoint? Or who are we unwilling to disappoint? Are we unwilling to disappoint God? Are we unwilling to disappoint others? Are we unwilling to disappoint our own selfish preferences? These questions can help us see our true motivations. Joshua said, “Choose this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15). Let’s respond with him, “We will serve the Lord” with all our heart and soul in the gladness of love-inspired fear! (Deuteronomy 10:12; Psalm 100:2).

~ Jon Bloom, desiringgod.com